The Good and the Bad

From organizing all this grad show business I realize how effin hard, and kind of how much it sucks, to be a leader. If things go wrong, the finger gets pointed at you, even if it wasn't your fault. You can't please everyone and eventually people attack you personally even if it's  a professional situation. It's really hard. And it makes me sad because I don't think I can handle it and I guess I always felt like I would be good at being a director, but  I have waaaaay more to learn. WAY.

But this being said, I love working with me...and here's why

• I'm pretty good friends with myself, we get along together well
• I'm honest with myself and don't talk behind my back about childish issues. if I have a problem I'm usually like "Hey D-L, quit it. that sucks" and then I'm like" Chyeah due, you're right. Still friends?" Then I say " YOU KNOW IT!" *high five*
• I'm punctual and able/willing to take on responsibility
• When I ask myself to get shit done, I actually do it
• If I fuck up completely I have no one else to blame. Likewise if I do well I get to bask in all the glory! ;)
• I don't need anyone else to motivate me.
• I try my best to stay positive, despite my natural pessimistic disposition.

Considering this though, here are some things that I'm trying to be better at.

• I don't always handle stress the best. Sometimes I blow things out of proportion.
• My memory is worse than my grandmothers, seriously. I can't remember things minutes after they happen.
• I can be a bit impatient.
• I can get carried away when I'm angry and hold a grudge (but I'm getting much better at this, however).
• I really can't tolerate working with apathetic/incompetent people.
• I take horrible care of my body. I'm probably worse than a bulimic teenager.
• I HATE NOISE SO MUCH, so much.

The Good news is that I am very far along with my animating and I'm very excited. Splicing together all of my footage really makes me remember why I'm doing this and it's very exciting. Though I have A LOT of editing to do.

Right now I'm taking the good with the bad, and trying my best to learn from my mistakes. Mostly I'm trying to not get caught up in the bad (as is my tendency) and just remember the good. i'm making a film, it's actually coming along, I'm surrounded by awesome, inspirational, talented people, my boyfriend is awesome, supportive and feeds me, and my cat loves me extra when I dance with him to MJ. Who cares if I'm not cut out to be a director just yet.


D-L